It’s September and here in the UK, we are definitely seeing and feeling the change in seasons. The light has changed and it’s cooler. As the time approaches for the squirrels to hummer down, it feels like we are gently winding down into more snuggly weather and nurturing self.
Why is it important to nurture and take super care of yourself? Many people, especially women, feel guilty at the thought of looking after and putting themselves first….after all, is this not being selfish?
Consider the distinction between “selfishness” and “healthy selfishness”. To be selfish is to be concerned about your own personal profit or pleasure without consideration for others. To be healthily selfish, on the other hand, is to do something totally for yourself in the full knowledge that in so doing you are being considerate of others.
Here’s an example. Jill knows that her partner hates ironing. So she decides to iron his shirts for him, but in return, she expects him to do something else for her, and should he not do so, she begins to resent the fact that she is “always doing his ironing for him and he doesn’t do anything for her”. Jane’s partner also hates ironing. She chooses to do his ironing for him because she feels good, in the knowledge that she will be giving him pleasure at his not having to iron his own shirts. She doesn’t do it all of the time, but whenever she feels like she’d like to. She loves the pleasure she feels when he is delighted at discovering that his shirts have been ironed. Do you see the difference?
We cannot give away that which we do not have. We can only give away from a full cup. When you’re tired and feeling lousy, and a friend phones up for some support, how much can you really be there for her or him? If you don’t look after your own well-being, can you genuinely take best care of someone else in your family? You cannot give the best of yourself to others without putting yourself first and taking care of yourself first.
Remember those occasions when you felt really good about yourself and everyone else and everything else in your world was just great and nothing could possibly go wrong? That’s the benefit that Super Self-Care brings you on a regular basis.
In what ways do you currently take care of yourself? How are you putting yourself first… nourishing yourself?
Make a list of as many different ways that you can think of in which you can take super self-care. Here are some ideas to start you off:
- go for a walk in the park and feed the ducks
- have a massage
- drink lots of water each day
- have a relaxing (or invigorating!) bath
- relax with some music that makes you feel good
- take some exercise
- breathe deeply
- have an early night
- ring an old friend up just to talk
Make Super Self-Care a priority, and observe what differences show up in your life; in the way you relate with others, and in the way you feel about yourself.
Have a wonderful month being healthily selfish, putting yourself first for all the right reasons.